


Nightmare

by RandomMel85



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Turtlecest, tcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 15:44:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6121408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomMel85/pseuds/RandomMel85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonardo faces his biggest fear... Will he pull trough or loose his mind...?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

His head stung. He knew he was bleeding. His leg was throbbing. He knew it was broken. But... that was not important right now...

"One, two, three, four, five-" Leo's voice was ragged as he felt not only his pain but also the eminent tiredness of sore muscles seep in. "Twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty." He leaned down, covering his limp brother's nostrils with one hand as he blew air into his lungs once, then twice. "Come on, don't do this to me..." He waited for signs of breathing, but the plastron still refused to move. Grunting, he resumed his chest compressions, tears starting to swell up in his eyes. 

"Leo... It's not working, Leo..." Michelangelo whimpered, clenching to his other brother's arm as his baby-blue eyes fluttered helplessly over the grim scene. 

"Shut up, Mikey!... Ten, eleven, twelve-" He knew that. He knew what had become obvious to the others, but he refused to acknowledge it out loud. Not yet.

"Leo, stop! He's gone! Just stop it!" A pair of three-fingered hands tried to pry the clan leader from the lifeless body on the blood stained ground, sending the eldest of the bunch into an even deeper despair. 

"Let me go! Let me go!!! I'm not done! I can't stop! He's.... He's.... He can't!!!! That idiot!!!! He can't!!!!" Hazel eyes looked up to meet chocolate brown ones; looking for any sign of hope, but in exchange poor Leonardo only found anguish. Donatello had made it clear before, their brother was gone. 

Unable to hold back his tears for any longer, Leonardo's face dropped to his fallen brother's plastron, sobbing breathlessly. "Leo..." Donatello's voice sounded like a mumble to him. How could he have let this happen? It was his sole duty to keep everyone safe, to think ahead, to be the leader he had trained for so many years to be. But with poor Raphael's mangled, bloody corpse lying on the cold concrete, his failure was screaming in his face. 

"Hey, Leo. Whatcha doing, bro? Ya've been really quiet for a while," Raphael's husky voice resonated through the dojo.

"Hey, Raph... Just thinking about tonight's mission," Leo whispered as he diligently wrapped his hands in preparation for the battle to come.

"What's there ta think 'bout? We go in, we kick ass, we disarm the bomb and walk out. That's all there is ta it, no?" Raphael chuckled, trying to ease the burden on his older brother's shoulders. Leonardo's unwavering eyes coming up to meet those unique golden orbs, made the larger mutant cut his chuckle short and bring down a thick gulp.

"It's no laughing matter. Your safety is my priority. All of yours; Don and Mike's too." Raphael rolled his eyes at his goody-two-shoe, fearless leader's words, but he was suddenly drawn back when he felt a hand grip the top of his plastron, bringing his stature down in a haste to be stopped half way by the feeling of soft, warm lips meet his mouth in a delicate kiss. Raphael gave a low groan as he closed his eyes and let himself go in the moment. "Please, promise me you won't be rash. I need you safe," whispered Leonardo. 

"Whateva' ya say, Fearless..." Raphael pulled his lover back, deepening the kiss as his hands explored the length of his beloved's body. 

They had loved each other since they were teens. Now, a few years passed, their ferocious, clashing personalities had managed to feed and nourish the most passionate relationship anyone could imagine. Their resolve unbreakable, they had gained the blessing of their beloved father and master. And it was that night, after they would come back from another successful mission to save the city of New York, that Leonardo would tell Raphael he wanted them to move out together, just as Raph had asked him to so many times. A place of their own where they could bask in each other's warmth to their heart's desire... But that bliss would never come.

Michelangelo's whimpers brought Leo back to the present moment. Donatello was beside him cradling Raphael's head on his knees. Leo looked to the side at the bastard who had taken his beloved's life. Bishop's evil grin for ever drawn on his lifeless face, blood drying up as it trickled down from where Raph had managed to embed his sai through the mastermind's temple. With shaky hands, Leonardo pulled his fallen mate's body up. "Let's go," he ordered. Donnie's and Mikey's blood-shot eyes metting each others before going to their leader's. "Home. He needs to come home." Without arguing, they stood up in silence, helping carry Raphael's heavy body, the three mutant's made their way to their secret lair. 

"Leo, your leg..." Donnie pointed out to the obviously swollen extremity. He knew by looking at his older brother's pale face that he was enduring excruciating pain from a broken bone, and as a medic he knew the importance of taking care of such injury before infection could seep in and threaten to take his life. 

Leonardo gently placed a pillow under Raphael's head, ignoring his brainy sibling's comment. At the moment he could not care less about his physical pain, he could perish, for all he cared. "Leo..." It was Michelangelo's soft voice, full of tremor, that snapped his attention back to reality. 

"I'm sorry, Mikey... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't be a better leader. I'm sorry that we lost him today..." He started to sob. "If I could trade places with him I would. I swear I would. I would do anything to bring him back..." The once stoic leader had reached his breaking point. His younger brothers watched his meltdown with knots in their throats. "He told me he had a bad feeling about that room, and I didn't listen... I killed him, not Bishop but me! I'm his murderer!!!" At this last sentence, the younger ones jumped up and tackled their weeping brother with comforting hugs. 

"You did all you could, Leo," Donatello spoke softly. "Some things are just out of our control..."

"Raph would follow you anywhere Leo," Michelangelo said. "What he did was for his love for you."

Leonardo's mind was pummeled back to the moment his world ended...

"This way!" The leader in blue followed his sharp instincts towards the beeping noise which was becoming louder with every turn he took. Raphael close behind as always. 

"Leo! Slow down!" The red-banded brother had been asking the same of him since they separated from the other two. 

"We have to make it in time, Raph! The clock is ticking on that bomb. Bishop is not one to bluff." Instead of slowing his pace, Leo's feet seemed to be moving even faster. 

"Leo! We need a plan B. What's plan B?!" Raphael pleaded, sensing in his gut that something was wrong. Suddenly Leo came to a halt in front of a door, they could see some kind of red light shinning from beneath it. As Leo readied to open it, Raphael's broad body stood in front of him, golden eyes glaring with the heat of the summer sun. "Leonardo! I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but STOP! Just stop and think for a moment! This is obviously a trap! I say wait for Donnie." 

Leo gave a low growl. He knew what was behind that door. One of their most feared foes, the evil, always conniving, Agent Bishop. And with him the battle was always dangerous. "It can already be too late, Raphael. Stand guard here, cover my back. I'm going in." Leo dodged under Raph's arm and pummeled through the door. Raphael's golden orbs were wide with fear as he saw his mate disappear into the red lit room. 

"Leo... We really have to take care of your leg... And your head definitely needs stitches..." Donatello's voice snapped Leo back once more, making him wince as his olive hand was laid on his leg injury. 

"I deserve this pain..." he muttered. He passed his hand over Raphael's now cold face, his strong jaw was slightly opened. Leonardo stared at his emerald green lips, those lips that would never be warm again, those lips that would never kiss him again, those lips... those lips that would never draw another smile for him. Leonardo cried, leaning down he pressed his trembling lips to Raphael's, flinching slightly at the coldness he received, he kissed him gently, then holding his head with one hand and hugging his chest with the other he submerged his face into the once strong turtle's neck. "Raphie... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." 

Donnie stood up, giving Michelangelo a gentle pull, he guided them out from the room, leaving Leo to say his last goodbyes. 

Once alone, Leonardo climbed atop the bed next to Raphael's body, hugging it gently, he started to sob, mumbling a thousand 'I'm sorry's' into his now deaf ears. He let his pain envelope him until his eyes were so swollen tears couldn't come out anymore... Then he allowed himself to sleep, with the throbbing desire to dream of his beloved, just to see him smile one more time...


	2. Chapter 2

'Leo...' He heard a whisper. 'Leo...' He felt warm breathing on his neck. 

"Raphie...?" Leonardo whispered without opening his eyes. The fear of waking for what could be a dream seeping into his broken heart. He could swear his beloved was next to him, kissing his neck and face, caressing his arm. "Raph... Stay with me..." 

'Leo...' He could hear it. It had to be Raphael's voice. Leonardo's eyes snapped open, but instead of the emerald turtle it was Donnie who sat next to him. 

"Hey, bro..." Donnie spoke softly. "You were mumbling in your sleep... I didn't want to wake you..." Donnie gave Leo a kind smile.

The once stoic leader was now curled up like a child in bed. Suddenly he realized Raph was no longer next to him. He snapped up, his breath becoming shallow. "Don, where is he?" 

Donnie's smiled faded. "Who?" Leonardo's eyes were full of fear, almost panic at this point.

"Raphael." 

Don's eyes didn't waver. "Leo, we went through this." Leonardo's mind was racing trying to make sense of his brother's words. He couldn't remember anything else other than laying in bed next to his beloved. His throat went dry. Donnie took a deep breath. "Bro... He needs to be buried. It has to be done today." 

"T-today...?" Leo stuttered. 

"Yes, Leo." Donnie's tone was firm. He helped Leonardo up, and that's when the blue-banded mutant noticed his leg was wrapped in a cast, but he didn't remember when it had been fixed. He brought his right hand up to his head, flinching at the touch. His head injury was stitched and covered. 

'Leo...' There it was again. A whisper flew into his ear slit. Leo's body flinched as he turned towards the sound, only to find nothing. Maybe he hit his head harder than he thought. He closed his eyes to try and think, but as he steadied his breath, he felt warmth on his neck. The same warmth one would feel at the touch of a kiss. His eyes snapped open, bringing shaky fingers to the spot where the tender warmth was lingering. "Don... I-I can't... I think, I might be loosing it..." 

"Don't say that, bro. It's just been a lot to handle, that's all..." Donatello sat next to him. "Leo... You have to let him go. It's not fair to him, and especially not healthy for you. Come on, everyone is waiting..." Donnie helped Leo clean up, then they proceeded to walk out into the living room where a weeping April and a very quiet Casey were waiting. As Leo looked around he saw Michelangelo sitting with slumped shoulders next to a big wooden box. His heart stopped. 

"LEONARDO!!!" Raphael's golden eyes filed with rage as Leo stormed in head first into battle. Inside that red lit room was no other than the merciless Agent John Bishop, armed to the nines, as usual. Leo threw a smoke screen at his face as he slid through the floor, reaching the timer control to the bomb's detonator. Quick as lightning, he stabbed the device with his katana. 

Raphael saw Bishop move towards Leo, which ignited his own movement in response as he bolted towards the action. The villain swiped off his coat, revealing his battle gear which increased his strength and speed. He grabbed Leo from the top of his carapace and flung him towards the concrete wall. A little dazed, Leo lifted his face to spot the man's next move, only to have his head smashed against the wall with tremendous force. His sight became fuzzy as he slumped on the floor, hearing Raphael's roar as he attacked the enemy. 

"Leo?" Donatello touched his shoulder, bringing him back to the funeral scene.

Leonardo limped his way to the box, passing by his friends without making any exchanges. "Mikey..." His youngest brother brought his baby-blue eyes to meet his hazel ones.

"I was... just... watching over him... Ya know, till ya got here..." Mikey spoke softly as he wiped the tears from his face.

Leo placed his hand on his little brother's head. "Thank you, Mikey," he whispered. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and leaned into the casket. As he let his breath go, he opened his eyes, but what he saw was not Raphael's resting body... He was leaning over Donatello's shoulder, as the purple-banded turtle worked on their battle shell. What had just happened? He started to hyperventilate. 

"Leo? What's wrong?" Donatello pulled his safety goggles down and helped his older brother to take a seat. 

"R-Raph!? Where's Raphael!? What-!!!" Leonardo was having a panic attack. 

Donnie took a deep breath, he then looked at Leo and with his incomparable agility pinned him against the chair, covering his mouth with his olive hand. "Leo... Breathe through your nose... You're going to make yourself pass out again." Leonardo's eyes where as big as ever. "Leo... Breathe... In and out, slowly..." Leo obeyed his sibling, he did his best to steady his breathing, sweat beads rolling down his forehead.

Donnie slowly removed his hand from Leo's mouth, allowing him to take a deep breath. "Where is Raphael...?" His beautiful hazel eyes focused on his brother as he asked the question. 

Donnie frowned. "We buried Raphael three days ago. He is resting beside father now. Remember?" In a storm of emotions, Leonardo stood up making the chair tip over behind him. He tried to run out of the garage but stumbled forward as the pain from his fracture shot up his leg. Donnie approached him slowly. "Leo, what's the last thing you remember?" Leonardo started panting from the pain as Don helped him up again. 

"I-I don't understand! We were all in the living room. Mikey was next to him, I leaned in to look... But, now I'm here...?" Leonardo brought his hands to his head as if trying to stop it from spinning. 

Donnie squinted his eyes, trying to think on what his brother had just said. "Has this happened before? These... Time jumps?" 

Leo thought for a moment, then he looked up at Don. He brought a shaky hand to his face as he turned his eyes away. "Don... What's happening to me...?" 

Donnie sighed. "Leo, it's ok. You did receive a hard hit to the head, this is just temporary side effects to your concussion. Memory loss, dizziness and tiredness as well."

Leonardo flinched when Donnie placed his hand on his shoulder. "Don... I need to see him."

Don pulled his touch away and went serious. His voice was stern. "You can't. Like I said, we buried him three days ago. We can't exhume his body because you say so, Leo. Think this through." With that he walked away from Leonardo. At the elevator door, he turned his face back one more time. "Just get some rest, bro. Time will heal..." Donnie entered the elevator, offering another kind smile as the doors closed.

Leo's eyes where shining in a daze. He felt like a stranger in his body. Could it be real? These 'time jumps'? 

'Leo...' He turned, looking for the origin of that whisper. 'Hey, Leo...' He could hear it clear as day. It was Raphael's voice... 

"Raph!?" he yelled, but now was only faced with silence. His breathing sped up again. "No... No, I'm NOT crazy." Leo moved himself to the floor where he did his best to sit comfortably despite his fractured leg. He then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm NOT crazy..."

'LEO.' His frown tightened at the clear sound of his name being called, the voice was husky but warm. 

"Raph..." With eyes closed, tears started to roll down his cheeks. It was then that he felt his presence. He was near. He took another deep breath, wincing lightly as he felt a tender touch graze from his shoulder down his elbow, it sent shivers down his spine. "Raph... Is it really yo-" he cut himself off. He had just told himself he wasn't crazy, but now, only a few seconds later, here he was talking to his dead lover. He bit his lip. "No... It can't be." But then he sensed something else; a smell, to be precise. He could smell Raphael's unique musk. His breath became ragged, fear of opening his eyes to find the cold nothing again, but terror to think he was losing himself to madness.


	3. Chapter 3

All he could see through dazed eyes was a flash of emerald green tackle his assailant. He heard Raphael grunt at the impact. Leonardo wobbled to his feet, feeling the warm trickle of blood run down his head. His mission still at hand, he ran to the main control panel, his sword still half embedded in it. "Leo!!!" He turned to see Donatello and Michelangelo entering the red lit room. "The power source is at it's center! Push deeper and forward!" Donnie yelled, as they readied their weapons. But as Leo began to push, he felt a hard metal rod painfully sweep his legs from under him with a hard blow. Bishop had thrown Raphael off and was now practically on top of Leo, one of Raph's sai in his hand, ready to attack. 

Leonardo opened his eyes, the flicker of a candle's light shinning dimly in front of him. He took a deep breath and wiped the sweat off his brow. He closed his eyes again, when suddenly, he heard it, the voice he had been waiting for. 'Leo...' He exhaled, focusing on it. 'Leo... Leo... Leo...' The sword wielder took another deep breath, taking in the smell which send a shudder down his spine. It WAS Raph. He felt someone grab his hand, he felt fingers graze his thigh. Leo's mouth slightly opened as he let a light moan slip out. 'Leonardo...' The whisper was clear as could be, he could feel the warm breath in his ear. The soft suckling sensation of kisses going down his face and neck. 

"Raph..." Leo started panting lightly. His hand raised to trace the trail of touches he was feeling. He couldn't help but start to get aroused. "Raphael, if it's you, please... please Raph..." The caresses continued. As scared as Leonardo was of going crazy, he really just wanted to let himself go in this feeling. How many times had he wished to have one more moment with his beloved? 

'Leonardo...' Leo's head fell back. His bottom lip quivering, tears rolled down his naked face. He let out a soft groan, imagining Raphael's weight pressing against his plastron as an electrifying trail of tender kisses painted his neck line. He felt his tail stiffen as his bulging erection began to swell. 

"Raphie... Let me feel you..." Leonardo's fingers danced down his plastron towards his fifth appendage. He slightly touched his slit with his calloused digits, making his cock sprung into the open, pulsating as his erection became complete. What happened next he did not expect. "Ngh......!" He felt something grab a hold of his dick. Putting his palms flat behind him, he lifted his hips forward. 

Then, he heard a soft whisper. 'Naughty Leo...' 

His eyes flew open as he gasped for air. The candle's flame went out. "Raph!!!" he yelled his name, but just like that, the presence was gone. 

Leo's breathing was ragged, his eyes darting around his room, searching for Raphael as big tears rolled down his face. He started to heave and sob, curling up on the floor, he let his voice loose as he cried with all his might, resonating through the lair. 

"Leo...?" There was a loud knock at his door. He couldn't find his voice to answer, his anguish had taken over his mind. "Leonardo, I'm coming in," said Donatello as he opened the door to his brother's room. Leo didn't move from the floor. He stayed curled up in fetal position, his chest heaving as he fought to breathe. 

Donnie's eyes were slightly hooded as he made his way to Leonardo. Once close enough, he crouched down next to him and placed a hand on his perturbed sibling's shoulder. Leo looked up at Don, raising his body on his knees, trying to see past the blur caused by his never ending tears. "Don... I-" His voice was cut off as he yelped in pain. Don's hand was grabbing his dick forcefully. "Donatello!?" 

Donnie's face was emotionless. "Let me help you with this."

"Argh! No!" Leo strained to get his brother's tight grip off of him, but the strength in the fingers of the bo wielder was not to be taken lightly. "Are you crazy!?"

Donnie grabbed Leonardo's left hand with his own, keeping his right-hand grip tight on Leo's cock. Donatello twisted the captured arm, forcing Leo to turn on his knees. Leonardo's face was against the floor, his right hand trying to relieve some of his weight, but his struggle stopped before it even began as he felt Donatello's hand start to slide up and down the length of his penis. "Just relax, Leo. We just need to give you relief..."

Leonardo could not believe what his sweet, mild-tempered brother was doing to him. He tried to push with his legs to free himself, sending a sharp pain up his body as he strained his fracture. He growled and hissed. "Don... I'm gonna-."

"Think it's him who's touching you." Leonardo's voice got stuck in his throat when he heard his brother's words. "Imagine it's Raphael who is touching you, Leo." 

"... No..." The struggling subsided. Leonardo suddenly stopped crying, his right fist tightening with such strength he dug his nails into his palm, drawing blood. Donatello's movements ceased. Slowly, the grip was released. Don's body pulled off from Leo's as he rested his rear on his heels. Leo's left hand slid down his shell to his side. Slowly Leo pulled his palms flat in front of him, pushing himself to sit.

"Le-" Donatello's head wipped back, followed by his entire body, his shell hitting the floor. Leonardo's arm was extended back, his body half turned. Fire in his hazel eyes. 

Donatello propped himself up on his elbow, his hand rubbed his face over the impact area. "If you ever try anything like that... ever again... I swear I will kill you, Donatello." 

Donnie sighed, an empty grin on his face as he stood up. "Glad to see you still have some fight in you, bro." Without any other word, he walked out, gently closing the door behind him. Leo's eyes were glazed with anger. 

After he took a couple of deep breaths, he pulled himself up, feeling the pain of not only his leg injury, but also the one that remained at his groin, a solemn reminder of the real pain that surrounded his life. He wiped the tears off his face, gritting his teeth. 'Leo...' His shoulders tensed up when the whisper reached his ears. 

"Fuck you, Raph," he mumbled. 

'Leo, baby...' Invisible fingertips grazed his skin. As pissed as he was, as hurt and confused as his heart was feeling, he couldn't help but shudder at the touch. Leonardo's cock sprung back to life, sending pain up his abdomen, into his gut. 

"Hmm... You asshole..." Leo leaned forward, placing his hands on his bed, he felt the touch travel to his penis. Slowly, he felt the strokes begin. They started out slow, but pretty soon they became aggressive. "Typical Raph", he thought. He started to thrust his hips forward to the rhythm, building up his orgasm rapidly. In a matter of seconds his seed bursted out, leaving him drained and exhausted, both physically and emotionally. As he let himself lay on his bed, he heard a very familiar cocky snicker behind him, followed by a soft kiss to his neck. He giggled softly. "I know, Raph... You're THAT good..." 

His lover's scent lingered in his room. But his mind could not push aside Donatello's behaviors. He would deal with that in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

As he opened his eyes, he glimpsed at his clock. It was well past eight in the morning. Leonardo groaned as he sluggishly pushed himself up to sit on his bed. If Raph could see him now he would mock him for hours, even days maybe. Leo had always been the earliest riser in the group, but ever since their last fight with Bishop, the leader of the now broken team had been lacking his usual stamina. As he flung his legs over the edge of the bed, he noticed they felt lighter. Looking down he noticed his leg cast was no longer in place, but he had no memory as of when it had come off. He sighed, rubbing an eye with the palm of his hand, feeling again that pit in his stomach he had become so accustomed to every time he realized he had suffered from another time lapse. Suddenly, he heard a knock at his door. "Yes Michelangelo."

"Hey, bro. Just making sure ya still alive, that's all." Michelangelo peered in the room. Leo thought it was weird for his younger brother to be the one checking on him, being that Donatello was the appointed worry wart of the family. Donatello. He remembered, then frowned, still confounded at his brother's behavior in his last palpable memory. 

"Still alive, Mikey. Meet me in the dojo in ten minutes for practice. Please inform Donatello." Leonardo stood up shakily as he settled his now healed fracture, the memory of it causing him immobilizing pain just 'a day ago', rumbling in his head. 

"Uhm... Donnie will probably skip practice again, Leo," said Mikey as he rubbed the side of his left arm with his opposing hand. 

Leonardo was slipping on his protective pads, pausing a moment when he heard Mikey's words, then resuming his action, he said, "please inform him he is to come to practice. It is not an option." Mikey gulped, then nodded as he left Leo's room. 

'Leo...' There it was. The whisper. Leo's shoulders jumped up as he felt a light touch grace his cheek. His knees bucked under him a little, making him groan as he remembered his last encounter. "No, not now." Leo thought to himself as he hurried to slip on his last knee pad. He then grabbed his mask and hurried out of the room. 

As he entered the dojo, he noticed that only Michelangelo was present. "Donatello?" Leonardo asked. 

"Leo, just let it go. I thought you guys had agreed to stay out of each other's way." Leonardo raised a brow, not remembering such conversation.

"Who told you this?" His mind was foggy, another symptom he had been feeling since the deadly encounter. 

Mikey fidgeted. "Come on, bro. You guys had an all out brawl in front of everyone two days ago..." 

Leo's eyes were wide open. "Everyone?"

"Yeah. As in April, Casey and moi." Mikey walked closer to Leo, looking inquisitively at his older brother's face. "Ya don't remember?"

Leo swallowed hard, sweat gathering at his palms. "Mikey... I don't know what's happening to me, but I promise I will get it under control."

Michelangelo's face darkened a little. "Hope ya do... Before ya finish breaking this family up." His younger brother's mumble was clear enough for Leo to hear. It hit his heart like an ax to a naked neck. 

Leonardo straightened up, clenched his fists, and decided to ignore that last remark. "Start warming up. I'm gonna go talk to Don." He proceeded towards the brainiac's lab. 

Without knocking, Leonardo punched the heavy metal door open and strutted in. His purple-banded turtle didn't even give a blink to the intrusion. 

"Donatello, you are missing morning practice." He crossed his arms and kept a respectful distance as he addressed his sibling. 

Donnie was looking at slides through his microscope. Without slackening his pace, he took a deep breath. "I'm busy."

Leonardo's eye twitched, anger threatening to burst out. "Practicing is important, Don. We need to stay sharp."

Donatello sat up slowly as his gaze pierced through Leonardo. "Stay sharp?" he growled. 

Leo's eyes narrowed, his aura as menacing as Donnie's. "Don, back down. You have no right to this anger." 

Donatello sprung from his chair, tipping it over with his action, he slammed his fist on the wooden desk making the slides jump and scatter. "No right!? How dare you!?" His beautiful chocolate brown eyes were lit with anger. "My feelings do not fall into your authority's jurisdiction, Leonardo! Trust me when I say if I could shut them down I would have done so years ago! And how was I to realize you would have the audacity to string me on only days after Raphael's murder-"

"String you on!? You came on to me! In the most forceful and disrespectful of ways!" Leonardo shouted back, enraged by his brother's accusations. 

"What!?" Donnie's teeth were clenched tight in a scowl. "You kissed me first in the infirmary!"

Leonardo's tongue was in a knot. Had he really kissed Donatello? His eyes danced in their orbits as he searched his brain for his lost memories, but he found nothing. "You're lying..." Leo said softly. 

Donnie's jaw dropped, he blinked a couple of times. "L-Lying?" His body was shaking as he sat on his desk, bringing one hand to cover his face. "The... The jumps...?" His eyes would not meet Leonardo. "Did that moment fall in one of your time lapses...?" 

Leonardo didn't move. "Don. I loved him. I still do. I would never betray him. Besides... You have always had Mikey. I... I don't understand." Leo's voice started to falter, it had become low pitched as he spoke that last sentence. 

"Leave." 

"Don please. If there's anyone who can figure out what's going on with my brain is y-"

"LEAVE!" Donatello swiped the objects that laid on top of his desk with one arm. Leo had never seen his brother in such a rage. Quietly he started to walk towards the door.

Standing at the metal frame, Leonardo took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. It has never been my intention to hurt any of you. I promise I WILL get to the bottom of this." He took a step outside and turned his head left. "I'm sorry, Mikey. Until further notice practice is to be done individually." His younger brother had been standing outside for a while. Now he knew why his happy-go-lucky sibling had spouted such hurtful words before, and if what Don said was real, he deserved every one of them.


	5. Chapter 5

Bishop's arm came down with full force striking towards Leonardo's head with Raphael's sai. Leonardo's body tensed as he unsheathed his second sword, stoping the strike with a loud cling as the two metal blades impacted. "Check mate. I win." The madman had the biggest of evil grins painted across his face. 

The next thing that was heard was Raphael's war cry as he tackled the assailant to the floor. Leonardo stood up as fast as he could despite the pain that had taken over his leg. He grabbed his sword and with a push and a pull he managed to follow Donnie's instructions. 

"Haha... Hahaha... Hahahaha!!!!!!" The turtles looked at Bishop, his evil laughter sending shivers through their bodies. "How do you guide a headless horse...?" Leonardo pulled his sword from the panel. The digital clock had stopped it's countdown. He turned to face the enemy. That threat was obviously directed at him.

"Leeeeeooooo!!!!!"

Leonardo gasped for air. The gut wrenching sound of Raph screaming his name pulled him from his meditative state. "No... I have to go back. Come on, Leo. What exactly happened that night...?" Leo had been reliving the fight's events; everything would come in pieces, jumping to the scene of his pointless CPR administrations to Raph. Don had said it was due to his state of shock and his concussion that his brain was having trouble remembering... Or at least that's what he thought Don had said... Things were not that clear any more. Maybe something else happened that was causing the time lapses. 

'Leo...' It was Raphael's voice again. Leonardo took a deep breath. He needed to steady his mind. To face his fear of losing his sanity and push himself back to remember it all. 'Fearless...' The whisper was followed by trailing kisses going down his face. He needed to focus. He started to count in his mind, trying to focus on something else. 

"One... Two..." He breathed out slowly. "Three... Four..."

'LEO...'

"Five, six, seven..."

"Leo... It's not working, Leo..." His eyes snapped open to find himself with his palms pressed against Raphael's body, Michelangelo to his side clenching Donatello's arm as they watched him with dread in their eyes. He was giving Raphael what looked like chest compressions in CPR.

"Sh-shut up, Mikey!" he snapped at the youngest. What was this? Deja vu? Maybe... Maybe a second chance! Frantically he resumed his compressions; maybe this time he could save his lover! But the body still remained motionless, and lifeless. His breath became shallow, what was happening? 

With empty hazel eyes, he looked at his youngest brother. He then looked down at Raphael's body under his hands. Slowly he removed his hands from the cold plastron, slumping his shoulders he started to tremble. 

"Leo...? I'm sorry, Leo... But he's-"

"Gone." Leonardo interrupted Donatello. "I know." 

"Leo..." Donnie's hand reached out for his leader's shoulder in comfort, but right before he came in contact with it his movement was stopped by the sound of someone chuckling. 

"Haha... Hahaha... Hahahaha!!!" Leonardo was euphoric. Now he was sure of it: he had to had gone crazy. "Aaaaaa... Wow... I guess I was right... I finally lost it." He reached to his back holster, unsheathing his sword, he brought the edge of his blade to his neck.

"Leo!?" Both his younger brothers gasped, but they couldn't move fast enough to stop their big brother from slitting his throat... Leonardo felt himself fall onto Raphael's body, letting out his last breath.

"Leo... It's not working, Leo..." Gasping for air, Leonardo turned again to his younger brother's voice. "Leo... It's not working, Leo..." But, where was Mikey? "Leo... It's not working, Leo..." Where was Donnie? "Leo... It's not working, Leo..." Where was Raphael's body? "Leo... Leo... Leo... Leo..." 

"Aaaaaahhhhh...!" Hyperventilating, sweat rolling down his face, Leonardo woke up trying to gasp for air, his throat burning, sight foggy... Turning his head the other way to see what it was, he could make out a dark green shape laying next to him. "R-R-" he tried to speak, his throat was hoarse and dry. Suddenly the shape shifted slightly. Leonardo blinked continuously as fast as he could to try and clear his sight. The dark green mass turned towards him, then came down on him with tremendous weight and strength. Leo flinched in fear and tried to struggle but his strength was nowhere to be found... Suddenly, his body tensed as a familiar smell reached his nostrils... Could it be...? "R-R-Raph-ie...?" he managed to ask.

The next thing he felt were warm, soft lips pressing on his own. He knew those lips... He closed his eyes, tears trickling down. When he opened his eyes again, he could see those beautiful golden eyes, full of tears, staring down at him. "G'mornin, Fearless..." It WAS him! His beloved Raphael was alive. His smile suddenly faded, eyes stripped off their newfound light, his shaky arm fell to his side. "Leo..? Babe, what's wrong?" 

"You died..." Leonardo whispered. "You died, because of me... Many times..." His voice hoarse, but clear. "And... I hurt Donnie, and Mikey. They hate me... I lost everyone..."

Raphael's eyes softened as he gave Leonardo a gentle hug. "It's ok, Leo... We're here... We're all here... It was just a dream." Leo's body trembled slightly. The dream had been so real.

"You... You were dead," Leo said, this time with more force. His eyes searched Raph's body and found the bandage wrapping his shoulders. Now he remembered.... The night before they had had a close encounter with the one also known as 'The Unkillable'. Being held as test subjects, unable to escape or help his brothers' as they were poked and proved on, threatened with a detonator set up to blow them up if anyone resisted. It reminded him of the first time they had fallen into his clutches years ago, when they were still mere teenagers. If it wasn't for Master Splinter, April and Casey they would all have been dissected for sure. How could he, as leader, let that happen again to his team? Raph had gotten badly hurt during the escape, the options had not been many. The call had been too close for his comfort. It wasn't a surprise it had come to haunt him in his dreams. His biggest fear materialized: losing his brothers. 

"Well, as ya can see I really ain't. I did notice ya tossing and turning and tried ta comfort ya... Which, not for nothing, ya seemed ta enjoy pretty much... I should'a just woke ya up... But ya know what the brainiac says 'bout waking people n stuff..."

Leo stared at Raph's face. He could see Raphael was serious about the whole 'can't wake him up' thing... He couldn't help but let out a loud laugh. Raph's face turned to Leo in wonder, and was suddenly pulled to meet a forceful, deep kiss. Leonardo's tongue danced with Raphael's. He was hungry for his beloved in a way he had never felt before, only maybe when they were intimate for the first time. When he separated to catch his breath, he said, "That's for sleepwalkers, genius..." Raph's jaw dropped, his face turning a as red as his mask. Leonardo chuckled again, pressing his lips again for a tender kiss. "Next time, just wake me up... And fuck me until we have no energy for dreaming at all..."

Raphael's mouth lifted into a cheeky grin. "Your wish is my command, oh Fearless leader..."


End file.
